A Man In His 30s Explains To Me What’s Wrong With Women In Their 30s (19/05/2021)

I recently got an unsolicited message on Instagram from a guy who claimed to have matched with me on Hinge in 2019. The DM is longer than a full-screen iPhone 11. A lot of effort has obviously been put into the crafting of this charming message.
He lists out his top-line stats.
39 years old.
6 foot.
Work as [insert impressive job title].
Never married, no kids.
He continues.
Furthermore, upon investigation of your digital content, I’d like to take this opportunity to put in an application for a second chance at a date.
The message ends with: I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this DM and I look forward to your response or ending up on your podcast, which I have reworked below to add this to his top-line stats:
I have banter worthy of a podcast mention.
So, completely charmed and only mildly creeped out, I break my cardinal rule of dating: I agree to go to dinner for a first date.
I arrive at the restaurant, where we very awkwardly say hello. There’s the usual small talk about work, the weather, what we’re looking for in life. I very quickly realize he’s not as quick-witted as his messages. The conversation is actually pretty dull. Which is fine! You don’t need to be a comedian to date — I’d just been expecting something different based on his text game.
We chat blandly about our lives as I inhale my equally bland pasta. I’m hoping to have this wrapped up in ninety minutes, max.
Within the first ten minutes, he tells me he wants kids. Two kids. Well, three, if things go well with work. He’s a shareholder at the company he works for, so ya know, he says, it all depends on how things pan out. So yeah, probably three.

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I’m pretty impressed with how seamlessly and subtly he alerts me to the fact he’s got money. He’s three kids rich!
Since there’s no romantic connection, I decide to delve a little deeper into his dating experiences. For the digital content.
He proceeds to tell me everything that’s wrong with women in their 30s. And, jeez: as a 30-something-year-old woman, it’s enlightening!
One of his biggest gripes is that men in their late 30s have to lower their standards. Significantly! Case in point: his very good-looking friend.
Get this: His friend — did I mention he’s good-looking? — swiped right on a girl that he NEVER would’ve swiped right on in his early 30s.
“What was wrong with her?” I ask.
He motions to his face. “Something just wasn’t right.”
I think he means she’s ugly, but again, I’m impressed with how seamlessly he thinks he’s hiding his superficiality.
There’s more.
He also has issues, he tells me, with Instagram filters. He tells me the story of a woman he chatted to for four months via text. In her photos, she’s HOT. Like, super hot.
(He actually kisses his fingers and says: mwah.)
But then they meet. And she has…
He gestures to the wrinkles under his eyes.
I look confused. “Wrinkles?”
“Yeah,” he says. “And, like. Bags.”
His next gripe: “Women over thirty-fou… How old are you again?”
“I’m 32,” I say.
“Yep, okay. So I’ve noticed that women over 34 have great banter on text. But then you meet them in person and there’s no banter whatsoever.”
Yeah, it’s definitely because they’re over 34, I think. It has nothing to do with the fact you’re dead inside.
And women over 35? Don’t even get him started! He taps on his watch, aggressively imitating a biological clock. Women over 35, he says, just talk about wanting to have kids, even a month into dating someone! Not on the first date, like we’re on right now — a whole month later.
He sighs, exasperated. “It’s like,” he says. “Can’t we just get to know each other first?”
I wonder whether these women mention if they want two or three kids. Those bloody women over 35… They’re all tick-tock, tick-tock.
I look at my watch. Tick tock, indeed. Three minutes to go.
“You sound pretty bitter,” I say.
He nods. “It’s fucking brutal out there.”
I look back at him, nodding my head in agreement. “It sure is.”

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Four Signs a Person Is Secretly Unhappy with Their Life

A mere 14% of people said they were very happy in a recent report. In fact, we are more unhappy than we’ve been in 50 years.
Yet many of you wouldn’t know it. Most people don’t walk around sulking. Friends are good at putting up an emotional front. We are good at buying the illusion. Then, when that friend’s behavior changes, we take it personally. We forget there were signs all along. It was never about us.
Understand the subtle signs of unhappiness and you’ll deepen your empathy. You’ll better understand yourself. Above all, you’ll have better social relationships, which is tied to better health, happiness, and longevity.

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In Defense of Soccer Moms
I worked retail for three years at a higher-end interior design store, Crate & Barrel. I actually loved the job. It was low pressure and I got to meet and talk to random people. However, I did see my share of difficult customers. On one occasion a woman came in looking a bit frazzled. I’d just checked her out minutes beforehand. She slid her open box across the table and blurted out, “Sir. I’m sorry but you packed this wrong.”
I looked at it and saw nothing off. I asked her what the issue was. She said, “You put the wrong gift wrapping paper inside. I asked for blue.”
I looked down and said, “Ma’am, that’s the only blue we have.” She held up the box, “No this is turquoise! You didn’t listen!” I was caught off guard by the aggression. I explained that turquoise was all we had. She stormed out of the store without saying anything more.
She was my Karen before the ‘Karen’ meme. We’d actually been trained on dealing with these situations. A senior manager taught us that outbursts are rarely about us personally. Often, they are about a bigger problem in that customer’s life. It doesn’t excuse the rudeness. But it gave us better context.
It’s in this way that the Karen meme, the high-maintenance soccer mom, is a bit unfortunate. One could foresee a homemaker, who has a thankless job. She’s in a thankless marriage. Her kids are out of control. Her husband isn’t helping. She’s tired. Gift wrapping paper became a channel for that unaddressed frustration. The outburst is no different than when your parent went nuclear over your forgetting to make your bed. Their vitriol was more about their deeper frustration with you.